The Familiar Who Didn't Belong
by Earl Annex
Summary: Instead of a teenaged male pervert from Muggle Japan, Louise summons a slightly less teenaged female pervert from Magical Britain. OC. Pseudo-SI.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Guess who's writing again! Here, have a spinoff of The Sister Who Didn't Belong. Actual chapters this time and all! (Yes, I'll update the main fic too. Eventually. Chill.)**

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"Uuuuugggghhhhh."

Harry glanced towards the source of the noise. His "sister" lay sprawled across _the entire couch_, feet dangling over the backrest and the armrest, arms in weird places, and hair touching the ground. Her head was in the lap of their mother, Lily, who had been returned to life a couple of years previously. Said mother was currently narrowing her eyes at her lap.

"If you wanted to avoid the hangover, young lady, then you shouldn't have drunk all that beer this morning."

The "young lady" in question flopped to the floor in response. "Mffle. Please. I haven't gotten a hangover from _beer_ of all things since I was_ thirteen._ I don't have a hangover. I'm _bored."_

Harry rolled his eyes. His mother and sister had that argument about once a week. Lily would insist his sister's drinking would end in catastrophe. Alexandria would counter that it wouldn't happen ever, cite dark magic, and continue drinking. It drove them both up the wall, if he was being honest. So he'd taken up needling her.

He put his book (_Quidditch Through The Ages, Special Edition_, thank you very much) down. "Since when did you even get drunk at thirteen, sis? I kind of recall you being too busy with your lips firmly attached to Hermione's bottom to ever find time to have a hangover."

She _hissed_ at him. "Go suck a dick, Potter."

He smiled. "I would, Potter, but I don't want your sloppy seconds."

There was a long, stretched-out pause. A throat was cleared.

Both Potter siblings turned to face their mother. She glared at them both. "Okay. I'm only going to say this only once." She paused, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Please._ Never_ enlighten me about your sex lives again, or I will be forced to share _mine."_

The twins saluted. "Yes, Mom!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't even _start._"

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"So, before we got all the way down the rails as usual, what boredom were you complaining about _this_ time?"

Alexandria flopped around. "Bah. Nothing is _happening._ You and Ginny _still_ haven't hooked up. _God_ knows what Draco is doing. Hermione is all over Ron. Luna fucked off on an adventure and she won't let me find her. There's nobody left to annoy!"

Harry snickered. "Is this the part where you finally admit to just fucking with everyone?"

He got an eyeroll in return. "Harry, _please_. Ain't no 'finally'. I admitted to fucking with people the night we first _met_."

Harry paused. "Oh yeah. Right. You did. Where were we?"

Alexandria yawned. "Honestly, I want something_ interesting_ to happen again."

The universe heard, and obliged. A bright green, featureless oval appeared in the air. It hung there, shimmering. Waiting.

Harry stared at it. Then he slowly, oh so slowly turned to glare at his sister. "Alex, don't you fucking dare."

His sister didn't seem to listen. Her eyes were shining, and she held her wand tightly.

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Alex, I _swear-" _

She went from a standing start into an Olympic-perfect dive.

Harry facepalmed. "God fucking damn it why do you always do this- aaand she's gone." There was no sign of her. Nor was there any sign of the portal. Harry pulled out his wand and cast a few diagnostic spells.

He found some unusual traces, which he resolved to show Hermione later, and concluded he had no skill with which to follow her with.

Lily found Harry tromping into the kitchen, fuming. She sighed.

"Oh dear. What did she do this time?"

Harry poured himself a shot of whiskey, downed it, and sat down. "She taunted Murphy and jumped into a portal. I'm getting the feeling we won't be seeing her in a _while."_

It said something about life in the Potter household that Lily didn't even bat an eye. "Bet you a sickle she'll come back with at least one wife."

Harry stared, aghast. _"Mom!"_ He then smirked. "Now I kinda want to see the woman capable of taming her..."

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Louise Francoise le Blanc de la Vallière coughed and waved the smoke away from her face. _Founder damn it, this always happens! Please, please tell me I at least got a familiar out of it this time... _

The smoke cleared. In front of her was a shallow crater, and in the middle of the crater was a kneeling figure.

Louise looked closer.

The figure resolved into a woman, clearly older than her, down on one knee. Her left hand was empty, but twitching in some unknown emotion, and her right hand held a _wand. _

Louise blanched. Had she summoned a _noble_ by accident? Had she committed clear and present _heresy?_ She blinked and the wand was gone. The woman's eyes twinkled.

Professor Colbert cleared his throat. "Miss Vallière? You should bind your familiar now."

The woman tilted her head, lazily quirking an eyebrow. Louise felt her cheeks heat up. "W-with... her?"

Titters could be heard in the crowd. The Professor coughed into his hand. "Yes, as, ah,_ unorthodox_ as your familiar is, it is a mandatory process in the binding ritual. If you will?"

Louise inhaled. Then she exhaled. "Yes, Professor." She stepped forwards. The woman regarded her with warm eyes. Louise suddenly found herself short of breath. "P-Pentagon..." She licked her lips. "Pentagon of the Five Elemental Powers, grant your blessings upon this creature and bind it as my familiar." She kissed the woman. On the lips.

Louise forgot to breathe entirely. The feeling of the woman's soft, warm lips against her own... she was idly aware of arms encircling her.

It felt like an eternity later when she came up for air, panting. Her... Familiar... had such beautiful green eyes... No, she corrected herself, green _eye._ The woman's left eye was milky white, with a thin pale scar running through the eyelids. Yet, unerringly, _both_ eyes were now focusing on her.

"One hell of a kiss, my Lady." Those soft, inviting _no focus Louise_ lips quirked into a carefree grin.

"Y-you...! I-!" stated Louise eloquently. "K-kiss! Soft!," she added.

"You're_ adorable,_" was her familiar's _familiar she had an actual **familiar**_ answer. A hand was brushing her hair away from her face. She felt a blush heating up her cheeks.

There was a throat cleared behind her. "A-ahem. Miss Vallière, y-you have successfully summoned and bound your familiar. F-full marks, a-and remember that tomorrow is a free day! T-to get to know your familiars!" There was the sound of rapidly retreating footsteps. Louise's new familiar smirked.

"_Somebody's_ flustered. Poor man. I can already tell he's gonna be a _fun_ one."

There was this beautiful green eye in her face again. "Anyway, name's Alexandria Potter. My friends call me Alex. And what's your name, you beautiful creature?"

Louise was certain her face was just all red now. Her? Beautiful? She was nothing. Nothing but a big flat zero. "L-Louise. Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière."

Alexandria was cupping her cheek with her hand. "Such a beautiful name, Louise Françoise. Such a lovely lady."

Louise desperately attempted to make the universe make sense again. "D-don't c-call me b-beautiful! I'm not! I'm just the flat little bratty Louise!"

Her familiar withdrew slightly. "Don't tear yourself down, my Lady Louise. You _are_ beautiful. Why else would I call you that?"

Louise glared at her insolent familiar. "T-to mock me! Just like everyone else!"

She was suddenly enveloped into a hug. "Oh, my Lady. I have spent half my life protecting firsties from bullies. I don't mock_ anyone._ You can have my word on that."

The hug felt a little bit like one of Cattleya's. _But Cattleya never kissed you like that,_ a traitorous little voice whispered. She withdrew from the hug. "C-come, familiar. I-it's late."

She took off towards the castle. _Oh Founder please don't look at my face I haven't blushed like that in ever... _

Light footsteps followed after her.

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By the time they reached her room, Louise's blush had receded somewhat. But she still felt self-conscious. She opened the door. "T-this is my room. S-sorry it's-" she caught sight of the pile of hay she'd readied that morning. "Oh Founder- S-sorry about the hay- I-I expected I'd get an animal companion n-not-"

"Shhhhh."

Louise dared to take a look at her familiar. The woman was looking around in interest. "You have nothing to apologize for, my Lady." She produced _oh founder is that a **wand**_ from her sleeve. "Let me just..."

The pile of hay shuddered, morphed, and expanded outwards in a rapid fashion. Louise watched in horrified awe as a second, green four-poster bed placed itself next to hers. She swallowed nervously.

"Y-you're a noble?"

Okay, she wasn't expecting a poleaxed look from her familiar. "A _what?_"

Louise blinked. "A mage. You can do magic. You're a noble?"

She actually got a snort for an answer. "Noble? Mage? Pffft,_ no._ I have zero elemental affinity to be called _any_ sort of mage, and Potters haven't qualified for any sort of nobility for _centuries._" Her familiar - hadn't she said her name was Alexandria? tapped her chin in contemplation. "I suppose inheriting the Black family bullshit from Sirius _maybe_ counts as a type of nobility, but let's be frank, the only ones who would care wouldn't count that _anyway._" She shrugged. "So, nope. Not a noble, not a mage. Just a plain ol' Witch. But one hell of a good Witch, at that!"

Louise slumped. "So you're a Zero like me."

_"Excuse_ me?"

Her familiar had her arms crossed. "Who lets you call yourself a Zero, my Lady?"

Louise opened her mouth. Louise closed her mouth. "I- What?"

Alexandria was now pacing in the room, gesturing animatedly. "Who taught you that is was okay to beat yourself down like that? Who would treat a beautiful creature like you with such contempt that they make you feel like you were nothing?"

The woman whirled around, pointing a finger straight at Louise. "You aren't nothing! You are _everything!_ I have known you for only those scant few moments and I can tell that you are something _excellent! I believe in you! I believe in you even if you do not believe in yourself! **If you can't believe in yourself, believe in the me that believes in YOU!**"_

Louise vaguely felt as if there were stars in her eyes. "Wow."

Alexandria bowed to a nonexistent audience. "Thank you, thank you, you are very kind." She clapped her hands together. "So! Tonight, we sleep! And tomorrow, we shall make you _believe_ in yourself!"

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	2. Chapter 2

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Louise awoke slowly. What had happened yesterday...? _Familiar._ She sat bolt upright and glanced at the bed next to her. It was unmade.

She recoiled. "Eh!?"

No, wait, there was movement there... Louise's mind blanked again. An emerald green serpent was unwinding itself from the blankets. It raised its triangular head in an equal height to Louise's, hissing softly. Louise swallowed. "G-good snake?"

It somehow smiled at her. There was a brief moment of morphic confusion, and her familiar was grinning at her face.

Louise fell off the bed.

Alexandria was snickering. "Apologies, My Lady. I suppose I forgot to mention I like sleeping in the scales. Much more snuggly than curling up as a human."

Swearing, Louise extricated herself from the mess of blankets and nightie. "Stupid familiar - WARN a person next time!"

She heard a chuckle. "Will do, my Lady. Shall we sail forth into your new life today?"

Louise, in the process of trying to fasten her cloak over her shoulders, huffed. "Yes, why not. But first, breakfast. A noble should take care to not skip the most important meal of the day, after all!"

Her familiar's slender hands wrapped themselves over her shoulders. "Shall I join you, my Lady?"

Oh Founder there was that damnable blush again. "N-no. Familiars a-aren't allowed into the Alviss Hall." And the stutter was back, too!

An exhale. Hot breath tingled at the back of her neck. Louise swallowed again. Her mouth felt dry. She opened it...

Her familiar withdrew. "Shame. Guess I'll have to entertain myself somehow."

Louise exhaled in frustration. "T-tease." She got a wink in return.

Just about then, the door from across the hall slammed open. "Louise! Darling! How nice to see you!"

"_Kirche,"_ Louise spat. She suddenly found her Familiar sliding in front of her, almost protectively. She looked up.

Alexandria was smiling, but the smile didn't look quite right. It looked a bit... _sharp._ "Hello there," she told Louise's archenemy. "I couldn't help but notice my beautiful Lady reacted rather strongly to your presence. I _do_ get the feeling you may not be, ah, _wanted_ here."

Kirche got up to her Familiar's face immediately. "Oh? And what would you know, peasant? Oh, I'm _sorry,_" she drawled, "I mean, "familiar". I wonder, how much did she pay you to pretend, hmm?"

_Oh no she didn't!_ Louise grabbed her wand. _How dare that Germanian slattern-_

"_Pay?_"

Louise blinked once. Only once.

And then Kirche was slammed against a wall by the neck. Her Familiar had crossed the few meters faster than Louise could follow, and pinned her archrival to the wall. Alexandria was _snarling._ "_Listen _to me, _**Mage.**_ I serve Louise Françoise of my own gods-damned free will. As a _familiar._" Her muscles were tensing. Kirche was making choking sounds.

There was a pause.

Then Alexandria's hand unclenched. Kirche fell onto the floor. Louise's familiar was staring at the crumpled form of Louise's rival. "Do not bother my Lady again, Mage. Or I will be forced to take you seriously."

She turned. Louise thought she caught a flash of some emotion, but it was gone as soon as she saw it and her familiar was wearing a carefree grin again. "New plan, my Lady. Why don't I accompany you to breakfast? You look like you could do with some company."

Louise looked at her familiar. Then she looked at Kirche, laying on the floor and gasping for breath. Then she looked back at her familiar. "_Wow,"_ she whispered.

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Louise followed her Familiar into the Alviss Hall, sort of in a daze. She barely batted an eye when the woman pulled out a chair for her, but she did blush furiously when the woman left a feather-light kiss on her cheek. Rubbing the spot and not meeting anyone's eyes, she let her familiar dance away as she assembled herself a plate.

Not long after, she heard a commotion. She looked at the empty spot next to her. Then she looked across the hall.

Louise's familiar was standing in front of Guiche, his wrist locked in her hand. A maid was cowering off to the side.

Louise took the scene in. Then she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Familiarrrrr," she growled. Then she pushed her chair back and marched over.

"Familiar," she asked sweetly, "What is this?"

"My 'someone is getting bullied' sense was tingling," Alexandria answered flippantly. "So I checked it out, and found this _cur_ abusing the help. Why wouldn't I step in?"

Louise sighed. "Familiar, de Gramont being a fop is nothing new. What'd he do this time?" She addressed the question to the maid, who slightly resembled a frightened deer at this point.

The maid curtsied. "Thousand apologies, Miss Valliere. I attempted to return a bottle of perfume he had lost, but he vehemently denied it. Then-"

Louise held up a hand, using the other to massage her temple. "And then the fop forgot he was courting Montmorency, and rejected her in earshot. Yesssssss. I'm starting to see. And how did my familiar come in?"

Guiche, the cur that he was, butted in. "That harlot of yours- OW!"

"I prevented him from striking the maid," Alex answered, her grip tightening. "Was I _wrong_ to do so?"

Louise took a deep breath. Then she let it out. "The fop brought this on himself. Now would you please stop handling the trash and attend me?"

In a blur, her familiar was behind her, and a pair of hands were massaging her shoulders. "At once, Louise Françoise."

Louise had to bite her lip to keep herself from moaning out loud. That felt simply _heavenly. _"F-familiarr," she ground out, desperately keeping a clamp on her composure. "N-not nowwww..."

The hands slipped off _no please come back _of her back, her Familiar at her side in an instant. Nobody seemed to have noticed anything.

De Gramont pushed himself back on his feet, snarling. "How dare you! I demand recompense for my impugned honour, at once!"

Louise sniffed haughtily. "That sentence implies that you had any honour in the first place, fop. Away with you. Familiar, come." She turned her back on him - and found herself face to face with Montmorency.

"You," the other girl hissed, "of all people, does not get to call anyone names, _Zero. _Apologize to him. Now."

Louise glared back. "And what would change? If anything, it would feed his stupid ego all the more, and he'd cheat on you again. What would that accomplish, _Flood?" _

Montmorency's eyes narrowed. "That's it, Zero. _You _will duel _me. _Right now. Outside."

Louise snorted. "Have you lost your senses, Flood? Duels among nobles are prohibited. Or have you forgotten that?"

Montmorency smiled cruelly. "I would argue, Zero, that as the Zero you are, you don't even qualify as a noble, but I won't. Instead, I think I will duel your harlot of a Famil-URK!"

The blonde suddenly found herself choked, much like Zerbst had been earlier, as Louise's beautiful Familiar hoisted the girl in the air by the neck.

Alexandria's expression was thunderous. "I ask this only once. No longer call my beautiful Master a Zero - and if you slip, I will _hurt _you. Understand?"

A whip of water struck Louise and her Familiar backwards, as Montmorency dropped back onto her feet. "Hurt?" she sneered. "That was _nothing! _I bet you couldn't even hurt a fly, harlot!"

Louise felt herself being helped to her feet. "You're absolutely right," her familiar began cheerfully. "A fly is an innocent creature who never caused harm to anyone." Louise snuck a peek at Alexandria's face - the woman's smile had turned _sharp_ once again_. _"_You, _however, I will _**maim.**_"

Montmorency raised an eyebrow. "I would like to see you _try." _

Louise suddenly found herself looking in the eyes of her familiar. "Master. My Lady. May I?"

She tilted her head. "Do you think you can take her, Familiar?"

Louise saw that _sharp _smile again. "All I need is my _balisong_, Louise Françoise."

Louise pondered that statement for a moment. "In that case, give her hell, Familiar."

In another blur, the woman was standing in front of her, twirling a strange folding blade between her fingers, the runes on her hand glowing faintly. "Then come at me, _**Mage.**_"

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**A/N: Welp, a chapter happened. Y'know, I actually expected a standard "let's tear Guiche a new one" and move on to some worldbuilding, but then suddenly MonMon. Yeah, I have no idea how that happened. Anyway, did y'all like this?**


	3. Chapter 3

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Louise blinked once. And then Montmorency's wand lay on the floor, in two pieces. She blinked again, and her familiar had blood flowing freely from her nose as Montmorency pulled her fist back. She noted that both combatants were grinning dangerously.

Louise sighed, saw Professor Colbert hurrying towards the scene, and massaged the bridge of her nose. "This is not how I pictured my breakfast going," she lamented to nobody in particular.

"But you love it, right?" inquired her suddenly irritating familiar, before taking a dropkick to the chest and flying out of sight as Montmorency stalked after her, bleeding from several cuts and gashes at once, water swirling around her wounds.

"I'm thinking about it!" she yelled after them, before palming her face. "Also since when was Montmorency a Triangle?"

"That's new," Professor Colbert noted from where he had suddenly appeared next to her. "Miss Valliere, what is happening here?"

Louise slumped. "I can't tell anymore," she groused, "but I can just _tell_ that somebody is going to blame it on _me." _

Professor Colbert hummed. "Well, if that is indeed _your _Familiar..."

Louise sighed. "I _knew _it."

Said familiar popped up next to her, grinning a bloody grin. "Does Blondie get to be in trouble too?" She stepped to the side, letting a wrathful Montmorency plow into the Professor instead of what was probably the intended target. "I'm thinking yes."

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Louise was glaring at her stupid Familiar as they were marching towards the Headmaster's office. "Would it kill you to wipe the blood off your face, stupid familiar?"

She got a confused look from the woman. "What blood, my Lady?"

Louise closed her eyes and counted to ten. No, that did not help. "The blood," she ground out, "that's making a mess of your nice shirt right now."

Her _stupid_ Familiar looked down. "Oh, there it is," she noted matter-of-factly, as if she didn't even care! "When did that happen?"

Before Louise could explode, Montmorency, who had been shuffling behind them, did that for her. "Are you telling me that I broke your nose and you didn't even _notice!? _What the hell are you made of, you stupid peasant!?"

"Ah, so that's what that was," the Familiar flippantly replied. "And no, you didn't break my nose. _episkey. _It's not even broken, see?"

Saying that, the woman turned on a dime and walked backwards, tapping her suspiciously unbroken nose. Louise shook her head in exasperation. If that woman wanted to keep her magic a secret, she shouldn't wave it around every two minutes!

Montmorency was spared an indignant reply by the arrival to Headmaster Osmond's office. Privately, Louise wondered how the perverted old man would keep himself back from perving on her familiar, decided that he probably wouldn't, and steeled herself for what was probably an imminent expulsion.

Professor Colbert pushed the door open. For a fraction of a second, Louise could see the Headmaster's secretary slam her heel into the old man's crotch, before both of them were seated at their respective tables, with nary a hair out of place. Louise promptly decided that she had just recovered from a sudden fit of blindness and pushed the mental images out of her head.

The Headmaster nodded imperiously. "Ah, greetings, students! As you all know, I am Osmond the Epic Beard-" ("No you're not," muttered the secretary who looked as exasperated as Louise felt) "-and I welcome you all to my humble office!" He steepled his fingers. "Now, miss Valliere, in trouble already?"

Louise opened her mouth. Her familiar coughed something that sounded like "confound". Louise closed her mouth and gave the woman a side-eye.

Osmond nodded thoughtfully as Professor Colbert finished explaining the situation. "I see, I see. Yes, I know what to do. Miss Valliere, your punishment is -"

Louise steeled herself. Her infuriating familiar winked at her.

"- to take the day off, yes, that's it. A wonderful idea that I just thought of."

Louise blinked. _What? _

The Headmaster nodded again and turned to Montmorency. "As for you, miss Montmorency - no dessert for a week."

_What. _

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Louise dragged her familiar through the door, locked it, and stood with her back to it, arms crossed. "Familiar. _Explain._" Her tone brooked no arguments.

The woman parked her _stupid _bottom onto the windowsill and steepled her fingers. "Sure thing, Mistress. What should I start with?"

Louise blinked, not having expected such prompt compliance. "W-well, I mean, first! What in the name of Brimir did you do to the Headmaster?"

Alexandria shrugged. "Confounded him, of course. It's a great way to supply the target with thoughts they didn't own, but it's unfortunately too unreliable to get any sort of consistent results."

Louise waved her arms helplessly. "_Why_?"

Her familiar furrowed her brow. "Because you were clearly afraid of what he might do, My Lady, and so I... nudged things a little sideways, as it were. Why else?"

Louise floundered for a moment. Internally, of course; mustn't forget the Rule of Steel. "And why are you so certain that I was _afraid_, Familiar?" She put her hands on her hips.

"Well," her familiar began, "while the method you're using for Occlumency is very good, it has a side-effect; when dealing with stronger emotions, you stop showing them entirely and clam up completely." She smiled fondly. "And after sharing a dormitory with Daphne Greengrass for seven years, you can't help but notice the signs, and specific emotions associated with the signs, from a mile away."

What the Hell was Occlumency.

"The art of protecting your mind against Legilimency, of course. You probably have a different name to it, naturally."

"Did I say that out loud?" Louise asked with trepidation. Was her familiar... Reading her mind?

"I don't have the read anything," was the woman's flippant response. "You're broadcasting those thoughts rather loud, after all - I don't even have to make eye contact..."

Louise eeped and slammed the Rule of Steel to the forefront of her mind. "Ask for _permission _next time!"

"Noted," Alexandria noted. "By the way, was Montmorency the one who came up with that _deplorable _nickname?"

Louise huffed. "_No. _That was _Zerbst. _What's it to _you, _anyway?"

"Wondered if I needed to kick her ass harder, is all," her familiar answered. "Still, good to know. Why _do _they call you that anyway, and how hard do I need to kick everyone's asses for it?"

Louise snorted humourlessly. "Hah. Technically, it's a _truth. _I'm a magicless Mage, is what I am. Bitter irony, isn't it? I might as well not be a Mage at all!"

Alexandria stared at her with narrowed eyes. "Okay, that's fundamentally bullshit. If you had no magic whatsoever, my Lady, you would have never been able to summon me across dimensions, nor would you be able to use Occlumency... Hm." The woman tilted her head. "But what if..."

"What if _what?" _Louise demanded. "Out with it, Familiar!"

"It's only guesswork for the moment," Alexandria explained, "but before I run away from my own train of thought again, may I ask you a potentially insensitive question?"

Louise narrowed her eyes. "Go ahead..."

The woman regarded her for a moment. "When you try to cast a spell, does anything... _unusual _ever happen?"

Louise crossed her arms. "I don't know," she sniped, "Does everything I ever cast, just _exploding,_ count?"

Her familiar was staring at her with a contemplative expression. "Mage. You keep using that word. A Mage is someone who wields Elemental magic, yes?"

Louise nodded warily. "Yes...?"

"Of course," the woman whispered. "A Mage is all they know here... They've probably never met one, or if they have, just ostracised them..."

"One _what?" _Louise demanded, fed up with the cryptic statements already. "One _Zero? _Is that it? One pathetic loser?"

Alexandria smiled. "No. A _witch. _Or a wizard, if we're being pedantic here, but that one is not applicable to either of us, so eh."

Louise glared suspiciously. "And what's the difference?"

"Between a witch and a wizard?" the woman inquired. "Literally just gender. Between a wizard and a Mage? _Specialization." _

Louise took a step forward, almost hopefully... "Explain," she commanded.

Alexandria hopped off the windowsill and began pacing. "A mage specializes in Elemental magic, and probably also Alchemy. A wizard (or witch) specializes in basically everything else."

She was gesturing wildly with her hands as she was clearly working up steam. "Anyone with even an ounce of magic can learn magic. Even if you have a bare trickle of magic, you can still brew a few Potions or tend to magical plants, or whatever. Mages, however, are born, and incidentally are quite rare, which means that in addition to normal magic, they can also cast Elemental magic. You know what's the thing, though?"

The Familiar stopped. "The thing is, your culture, for _whatever reason, _doesn't _teach _non-Elemental magic, which means that any Magical not born a Mage is just left to the wayside!" She paused. "Which, by my theory, is what happened to _you, _my Lady."

Louise's hand was in front of her mouth. She... could possibly be capable of functioning magic? She wasn't a Zero? She... wait. Doubt gripped her. What if it wasn't so?

"Are you sure that's what is going on?" she asked cautiously.

"Reasonably," her familiar answered. Let's see... Ah!"

The woman waved her wand, and _a mannequin appeared from nowhere what the __**fuck **_

"Conjuration," Alexandria explained. "I have a reason for this. You see... _Incendio!" _

A jet of flame shot from the woman's wand, igniting the mannequin instantly. The Familiar waved her wand again and now a jet of water shot from it, extinguishing the fire.

"A very simple reason indeed," her familiar repeated. "That was more Conjuration, not actually Elemental magic. Now, watch what happens when I, a powerful witch with no inborn Magecraft talent, attempt an _Elemental _spell..."

The woman pointed her wand at the mannequin. "Fireball!"

The mannequin _exploded. _

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**A/N: Whoof, that was fast! Some exposition this chapter. _More_ exposition next chapter, also history, blasphemy, and all the other sorts. Just an advance FYI. How'd y'all like this one tho?**


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